Archive for February, 2012

cmyksimpletrans

After The Tornado

This piece was originally posted in Heretic Press and works as a kind of supplement to the CMY(K) artist statement.

I believe in the resurrection of Jesus. With that comes the belief that death is not simply a sad fact, but a necessary part of a full life. In Christian circles, this language is often used almost unceremoniously; “I must die to myself” “Less of me, more of Him”  or “Taking up my cross” are not an uncommon things to hear on a Christian’s lips. But what happens to the idea that “death is necessary” when it is applied to the very religious system from which we learned the language of “death and life” and how to use it?

I am hardly the first to point out that western evangelical Christiantiy as we have known it is dying a relatively slow and public death. Author Mike Breen equates the current state of western religious culture to a tornado-struck town; what was previously familiar and comfortable terrain is uncomfortably strange and different because many, if not all of the landmarks we used to orient ourselves have been leveled. Calling oneself a “Christian” or even saying that one has “faith” means something different now than it used to. For many among us, we actually don’t want these things to mean what they used to and we are eager for new meaning to fill the space still possessed by these words.

While that may seem a bit dramatic, I’ve found this idea to be pervasively true with my circle of friends. I want to affirm the critique among my peers that very little about being a Christian looks like it used to (or soon won’t). I also want to put some marks on the blank slate in front of us so that we don’t feel like we have to draw new maps alone. I want to say that, regardless of the disorientation brought on by the absence of familiar structures, there is still a True North. I want to encourage those of us still standing amidst the rubble of once sacred buildings, that sometimes structures collapse because they were built poorly or cheaply… and that, in the future, we can build with more care. I want to proclaim that death is necessary for life and that believing in the resurrection doesn’t mean believing our faith (much less the structures we build around it) never dies. It means that death is not the end, even if it is our faith that has died.

This is why I’m doing the CMY(K) project.


You can pick up the EP’s at iTunes.
It is also available at my web store. 
For more on the whole CMY(K) project, read the artist statement.

God With His Back Turned

Midway through Terrence Malick’s brilliant film “Tree of Life” is a sermon in which appears the phrase “He alone sees God, who sees when God turns His back as well as when He turns His face.”  The sermon takes place around a young boy’s drowning and the subsequent disappointment and frustration among the movies key characters.

I found that moment (and that line in particular) galvanizing as I prepared for the CMY(K) project.  At least part of what I wanted to communicate with the songs and letters is that I believe those who say God is ‘unfair’ or ‘absent’ are saying something as vital as those who say that God is ‘just’ or ‘faithful;’ That experiences and expressions of disappointment or abandonment are necessary elements of the good life, rather than defects that require treatment.  I’ve come to see dissonance and even disagreement as forms of relationship rather than as antithetical. This is not to suggest that such forms of relationship are preferable to harmony and agreement. Rather, harmony and agreement are enriched and more deeply meaningful if and when we can embrace the less enjoyable and comfortable aspects of relationship.

You can pick up all three CMY(K) ep’s at iTunes
You can find more about the CMY(K) project at http://cmykproject.info/
 You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind here.

3W5K

Throw The Christians To The Lions

Upon my return from India with Compassion International, I was reeling a bit, wondering how to share what I had just experienced.  It was truly the most overwhelming and life-changing span of days outside of the birth of my son.  I didn’t need to find a way to sum it all up.. I needed a starting point.

On the drive home from SFO, after an almost 30hr travel day from Kolkata, we pulled up at a red light where I saw, stuck on the car in front of us, a bumper sticker reading “So many Christians, so few lions.”

I’d found my starting point.

The predicate of the bumper sticker was that Christians, as a group, ought to be fed to the lions. Unfortunately, there are just too many Christians to effectively do so. So I got to thinking: If we want to eradicate Christians, we would have to do it in a more organized manner; we’d have to line us up and toss us in a few at a time.

Which leads to the question “Who would go first?

The easy target would be the Catholics, who are often the focus of severe cultural critique, even by their own Christian family.  Of course, by throwing all the Catholics to the lions, we’d be eradicating members of the most charitable organization in human history… yet that wouldn’t be the major obstacle; the major obstacle remains the sheer number of Catholics. So, in the interests of expediency, perhaps we ought to begin by tossing in the small group of Catholic nuns I met in Kolkata who, as common practice, walk around the block upon which their convent is situated and pick up abandoned infants from the street and then nurse them back to health to the best of their ability. This would include the infant child I almost stepped on with my own feet, left covered in a pile of rags with only its tiny hand exposed.  Perhaps we ought to begin with that group of Christians.

Or perhaps we move on to a different institution and begin by tossing in any of the Protestant pastors I met in India who, supported by Compassion’s Child Survival Project, facilitate programs for pregnant mothers and their children, regardless of the fact that neither those women nor their husbands attend those churches much less tithe to keep those churches running. You see, most of these women are from Hindu and Muslim families and have no interest in Christianity per se. They are also, in large part, members of India’s Untouchable caste; a people who are regarded as sub-human by the dominant forces in their culture.  They are regarded as next-to-worthless beings whose only hope is to die and return on as a member of the higher castes. Yet, these  Protestant pastors believe that all people are children of the Father and therefore worth helping. Particularly, they believe that motherhood is a sacred vocation and worth investing time, finances and resources.

We could begin with these pastors.

Or perhaps we could begin with any of the Christian men and women who, along with WIlliam Wilberforce, launched and sustained the first abolitionist movement. Or any of the Christians who have launched and are sustaining  the second great abolitionist movement, happening right before our eyes.

Of course, I am assuming that the maker of the sticker and the driver of the car it was stuck on would not want to begin with anyone on the above list. The work of the lives I’ve mentioned is far too good to throw away… or at least good enough to keep them from being thrown away first.  Rather, I imagine they’d suggest beginning with someone more like me; someone whose life is more compromised. Someone who has injured people with his expression of faith or at least used his faith as an excuse and coverup for having injuring people; in a word: a hypocrite.

But, if we decided on throwing some lesser member of the Christian Family to the lions, I believe we would have a problem..

I believe firmly that, as we drug some lesser sister or brother to the pit to be consumed, one of our greater sisters or brothers would intercede and demand that they should be taken instead. They would do so for the very reason the do the great works of compassion and justice that would otherwise qualify them for exclusion from being thrown to the lions; they are Christians and are compelled by the Person of Jesus Christ both externally and internally.

You see, the Christians I know and have personally met who do these compelling and moving works do not do so simply because the work needs doing; they do so because they have followed Jesus into such work.  They are compelled and inspired by the teachings and spirit of Jesus to care for those He called “the least.”

So, It strikes me that if we want to throw “the Christians” to the lions, we might as well begin with the best among us and, with them, the work of their lives.  In my experience, why I do what I do makes what I do sustainable. When the thrill of doing a good work wears off (and it always does) my reason for doing it remains. I join my greater sisters and brothers in acknowledging that I do what I do because I am compelled by Jesus Christ. 

CMY(K) – Resurrection (“Y”, Track 1): Letter To A Christian Friend

Most of the songs that make up the CMY(K) project are written for and about friends. I am posting the letters I’ve written to these friends letting them know about their song.  Below is the letter I wrote to a friend for whom i wrote the song “Resurrection,” which appears on the EP entitled “Y.”
I wrote the song “Resurrection” with you in mind. Below is a letter explaining a bit more of why.

The christianity you grew up in almost killed you. In fact, it may well have at some point.  You were given hoops to jump through and lists to memorize lest you be unprepared to meet the ills of this depraved world. Regardless, you were ill-prepared.  In your christian training, favor was hard-earned and easily lost. You had the horrible misfortune of never having earned it to begin with so that when you floundered, it was only what was expected of you.  You never measured up but for short seasons at a time, at the end of which you would inevitably be found lacking in either faith or character once again.In a culture that generally values getting it right, you’ve often gotten it quite wrong.  You have lived long seasons of expecting the other boot to fall; never believing that, even when good fortune is granted you, it will last.  Sadly, you’ve been right about many of these seasons and that has verified the idea that, at least in some way, you are cursed.
But I do not believe your christian training provides light enough by which to accurately read the story of your life. I do not believe that yours is the story of a man who “can’t hold it together,” though much has fallen apart in your hands.  I do not believe that yours is the story of a man who is constantly sabotaging his own good fortune, though you have often done that as well. I do not believe you are a man whose past mistakes will forever haunt and corrupt the landscape of his future.  I believe that yours is a testimony of boundless mercy; of inexhaustible grace; of getting second chances seventy times and then seven times that.   
On one hand the sad reading of your life is accurate: How many times  has your life nearly imploded?  How many times have you shot yourself in the foot or jumped ship on something good because of some irrational fear? How many times have you schemed your way into some corner from which you believed the only escape was yet another scheme into another corner?  How many corners have you found yourself in?
In fact, you have found yourself even recently in yet another corner. But this time you didn’t scheme your way out. You stopped. You waited. You got caught holding the bag that contained all your failures.  In part you stopped because you were exhausted from the chase and had lost faith in your own plans. But more importantly, your exhaustion from running all these years allowed the better part of you to overpower the lesser part of you and move you past fear toward trust.
In the past, you believed being caught would have meant being exposed and that being exposed would mean shame, judgement and punishment. But that is not what you have found in being caught.  Being caught in this corner has meant experiencing the firm grasp of God and those He’s given to you.  That grasp can feel like a kind of violence at first.  But that it has not harmed or restricted you: it has held you still and in place long enough to hear the voice of the Father and His Family saying “You are a son and a brother. With you we are well pleased.”
You see, what your christian training failed to teach you is that failure is not a dead end, it is a doorway.  Through the doorway of failure you have found mercy and grace.  And though your former religion may have in fact killed you, it is by mercy and grace that you are being made alive again.
Only because you have failed as a friend have you come to know who your true friends are and that the foundation of those relationships cannot be shaken by your performance.
Only because you have failed as a son have you come to know that the love of a Father is unmoved by performanceand that you, in fact, do have a true Father. (This also means that you can BE a true father).Only because you have failed as a christian have you come to know that God never asked you to be a ‘christian’ to begin with.  He has pursued you. He has caught you. He has held you together. He has kept you.  None of this because you have done well and have therefore pleased the Father with your performance.  All of it because you are His.  And that is all he has asked you to be.. to be His and to know that He is pleased with you.
You can pick up the EP at iTunes.
It is also available at my web store. 
For more on the whole CMY(K) project, read the artist statement.

Resurrection from Justin McRoberts on Vimeo.

LYRICS:

It’s not about the drinking
It’s all about being drunk
It’s not with whom you’re sleeping
It’s with whom you wake up

It’s not about the wars you fight
It’s whether or not you win
Not so much about being right
As not letting all the wrong ones in

We all wan’t that resurrection
But we don’t want to die
We all wan’t that sweet salvation
Without the bitterness of sacrifice

It’s not about forgiveness
But making sure they know
You’re the one they’ve injured
But you’re too strong to let it show

It’s not about believing
It’s about making it look good
So when you loose your reason
You just keep doing what you should

CMY(K): Diseases That Have Cures (“M” Track 5), Letter to an Affected Sister

Most of the songs that make up the CMY(K) project are written for and about friends. I am posting the letters I’ve written to these friends letting them know about their song.  Below is the letter I wrote to a friend for whom i wrote the song “Diseases That Have Cures,” which appears on the EP entitled “M.”

 

I wrote the song “Diseases That Have Cures” with you in mind. Below is a letter explaining a bit more of why. Also below are the letter are the lyrics to the song.

—–

Your heart breaks for the brokenness of things. You are one of those few who truly are moved by the stories on the evening news. Unlike many us who have grown accustomed to bad news, you sincerely expect that things ought to be better than they are. This expectation in you is valuable and true, thought it is often deeply disappointed; it is hope in you pressing against despair in your world. Don’t give it up. Neither should you give up your softness and sensitivity; they are not symptoms of weakness. They are part of the strength in you that shares in the suffering of others.

In our conversations, it seems that the thing that affects you most is feeling the shadow of God looming over the tragedies you are moved by. You have trusted God and come to know Him as both Sovereign and Good. This has left you torn between what you have known of God and what you have have seen in His world

When hunger takes a life, why does He not act?
When a child is sold for sex, is she not His child?

This tension doesn’t arise from a fault in your theology or your faith. Our tradition is filled with faithful women and men who struggled throughout their lives to hold the goodness of God in one hand and the darkness of things in the other. Few of these saints discovered or offered a cognitive, philosophical pathway out of that tension. Similarly, I can’t offer you a cognitive pathway out of your tension; I can share that tension with you. I can also suggest something I’ve learned from the lives of those saints as well as my own experience; That, even should you and I find a cognitive pathway or a satisfactory philosophical theory by which to explain suffering in the world, the pain in our hearts as well as the pain in those who directly suffer, would yet remain untouched.

Fred Friendly is noted to have said “The role of the newsman is to create a pain in the viewer’s mind that can only be relieved by thinking.” I firmly believe that the pain you experience at looking on the brokenness of the world can only be relieved in sacrificial action. The only ‘relief’ I’ve ever experienced in the shadow of violence, hunger and tragedy,.. the only reasonable response I’ve found has been to bear whatever degree of the world’s pain I can responsibly bear. You have chosen this way yourself; You have committed hours and resources to care for trafficking victims. You have worked to educate and inspire others so that they do not invest in a system of exploitation. You and your husband sponsor kids with Compassion… You have chosen to give of yourself… You have chosen the Way of the Cross. And though it seems like foolishness to some, those of us who have lived in this way know that it has power to change lives.

In the Scriptures, even when pressed by Job, God never gives a philosophically satisfactory answer to the ‘problem of evil;’ He does not wrap up the issue in an understandable and graspable package. Instead, and many years later through Christ, God offers the only response I’ve ever found to be satisfying on any level; the sacrificial action of the Cross. Certainly, there are philosophical implications to the Cross of Christ but they are peripheral to the act itself. It seems to me me that the pain in you is not so much a matter of philosophical crisis as it is a call to to suffer with those who suffer and to do so redemptively. I believe the philosophical crisis is real, but I believe the latter is more vital. Both offer a path a path of suffering: you will either suffer internally because you cannot make sense of the world and it’s Creator, or you will suffer in a way that brings healing. You have chosen the latter path. I believe you’ve chosen well.

I’m not suggesting, nor would I ever, that such horrors as sex-slavery are instruments in the hand of God and therefore justifiable. I sincerely don’t have a convenient theological category for such things. All I know is that, even should we somehow “make sense” of the darkness or “understand” it, the pain in us (not to mention the pain in those who directly suffer from hunger, oppression, slavery etc..) remains untouched until we act. You have chosen to act despite your confusion. I think that’s wisdom.

A couple added thoughts:

Pain is not a concept.. It is real. It seems sensible to me, then that our response to real pain must be real rather than conceptual.

It is, in many ways, a luxury of the well-off to philosophize and theorize about suffering; it’s meaning and place in the world.

 

Diseases That Have Cures from Justin McRoberts on Vimeo.

I wrote a letter to you, Lord
Not unlike the one You sent to me
Not to explain myself or anything I think
Just to tell you what I see

Which brings us to where we are now
Where I don’t know how to begin
You won’t explain Yourself to satisfy my mind
And I simply won’t give in.

They say Your love is great
But maybe they should wait
Until it’s their child dying of diseases that have cures

They say you’re faithful like the sun
I watch it rise most every day
But if I stand here still and wait here long enough
The sun will also go away

All you’ll say is…

You say your love is great
With Your body broken, Your spirit faint
For a world turned over and laid to waste
While your people treat each other like it’s some damned game
Cuz they’re all Your children aren’t they?
Yeah, they are all your children anyway
Yeah, they are Your kids dying of diseases that have cures