It can be hard to recognize the difference between being useful and being used.
It’s hard to love well when the missteps that often come naturally with relationships can be held against you and sometimes threaten your job.
It’s hard to be transparent and vulnerable when you know some folks will read it as weakness and a failure of leadership character.
It can be hard to have friends at all.
It can be hard to help others see the God for themselves when you’re not seeing God clearly.
It can be hard to live in the kinds of disagreements that come naturally to a healthy community/family.
It can be hard to confess you don’t know The Truth about some things.
It can be hard when other-pastor-friends have no idea that the way they talk about their successes cuts you in half.
It can be hard to carry so much for other people and sometimes discover you’re over capacity.
It can be devastating to come to the end of your own abilities and energies without feeling unqualified or unloving.
It can be hard to know the difference between circumstances being difficult and you being unhealthy.
It’s hard to admit you’re not healthy.
It can be hard to trust the counseling or mental health services provided by your denomination when they seem mostly intent on getting you back to work…. and you’re not sure you want to.
It can be hard, when you’ve come to the end of your wisdom, to point someone towards therapy or professional help without them feeling dismissed.
It can be hard when people you care for (and want to care for) “do what’s best for their family” by leaving.
It’s hard to give the best you’ve got to someone and never hear from them again.
It can be so very hared to feel like you’re not allowed to say how hard it is.
I hear you. I believe you. I know.
And maybe it’s enough for now to hear someone tell you they see you. If, on the other hand, you need a help beyond a short post, let me know. If I can help, i’d like to.
– Justin